i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
