Already got asked if we're dating
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
All the doctor said was why
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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