Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
