I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize