well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
