Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
