and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Dear god my vagina.
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