Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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