2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
