we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
