If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
