You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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