Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
