It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i barfeds in our rink
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
