He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
