why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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