Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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