His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
