Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
