The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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