Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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