Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
