Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize