everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
