guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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