You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
