Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
