i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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