i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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