Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
