Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
