I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
