Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
