Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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