A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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