if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
