it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
