Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
