Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
