i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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