Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
