a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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