Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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