oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
