Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
