I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize