i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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