And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
