Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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