This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
