And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize