the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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