i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize