I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize