So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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