Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
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Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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