Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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