Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
