no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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